Happy Thanksgiving!

We are gearing up for Thanksgiving around here - lots of talk of turkey and "cranberry soup" that Joaquin wants to make. We bought some cranberries at Whole Foods recently because I think that since cranberries contained the word 'berry' he thought it would be similar to blueberries or raspberries or strawberries. He wasn't too happy when he discovered how tart they were so he decided that we would make soup out of them. I'll try, I hope he likes it!

We are doing well around here. No sickness *knock on wood* since he flu-like bought of sickness he had in October. His levels are slowly coming back around. His creatinine is still at about .5 which isn't too much of a concern but at the same time it kind of is. They have added more water to his daily regimen in the hopes of bringing it down. His Prograf has been exceedingly high since his sickness so the doctors are thinking it could be one of three things. The first being mild rejection, the second being toxicity in the kidney due to the high Prograf, or third it being just him growing. He might just be at .5 - it's a real possibility. I tend not to think that it's mild rejection, I don't know why. I just don't think that what it is. I tend to lean more toward the second or third. He is growing fast right now; his Prograf was really high which could be a little stressing on the kidney. We had labs again today and I won't even begin to go into what a mess that all was. I'll maybe save that for another post.

So pending labs we are considering a kidney biopsy. Since we refused the routine biopsies, we've always told ourselves that if there were anything that made us or the doctors suspect anything was wrong with his kidney, like rejection or toxicity, we would consider a biopsy. Part of me has always wanted to do one because I don't like going against doctors' recommendations but at the same time I always felt like everything was fine. Another part of me just wants to be told that his kidney is fine and dandy. With toxicity coming from too high a dose of Prograf, they like to do a biopsy to see if a lower dose could be in order. He might not require the dose he's at - and they would never lower the current level until they did a biopsy. Hands tied.

When Chris and I discussed it a few days ago, I felt at peace but then when I started thinking about what a biopsy entails... Joaquin is much older now than when the last time he went under anesthesia, it could be a whole new ball game now. He might tolerate it better. I just don't know. It's so tough, I wish it wasn't such an invasive procedure, I'm sure I wouldn't hesitate to do it.

I'm just having a really hard time this season with worrying about sickness. I know I can't prevent it, I know it's going to happen. I just hate the feeling of the impending sickness. I wake up in the morning and wonder, will today be the day he starts another fever. That kind of mentality drives Chris up the wall because he's a glass is half full kind of guy. We are very vigilant about always washing our hands after we come back from being in public and before we eat but even that can't prevent air-borne germs. Last night he was running around the house crazy-like and rather than being annoyed at the noise, I was so thankful that he was just feeling good!

As I've mentioned before, it's just so hard for me to differentiate between what's normal toddler and what's toddler with a kidney transplant. Is there a difference? Are the two mutually exclusive or not? I don't know. There has never been a clear answer from the doctors. I just don't know how other parents are able to go on with their lives just not knowing because I can't imagine them knowing more than us. After all, we ask a bazillion questions and the doctors are always saying that rarely does anyone ask so much. I can't imagine other parents who ask less questions knowing more.

But Joaquin is doing amazing right now. He's growing so fast and learning so much. I love the age he's at because it's easier to reason with him and he understands what I'm saying and I understand what he's saying. I can talk to him about things pertaining to his health, he can tell me better how he's feeling. I don't want it to seem like his this sickly kid, when he's really not. He's doing so great right now and really thriving. He's such an awesome little kid!

Sage is doing well also, he LOVES reading books. He follows us all around the house with his books. He does a little sign language, and he says more and more all the time. His newest thing is saying "milk" when he signs for it. He really likes dogs. He also loves to snack - the kid is like a little goat and will eat pretty much anything, be it edible or not.

So Happy Thanksgiving to you! We are staying in Reno and having dinner at my parents house. We are having some friends over but it will be a pretty intimate Thanksgiving compared to the last few years. I don't mind, it will be good food and family no matter how many people are present.