Decisions...

We are quickly arriving at the day for Joaquin's transplant. It is a tough decision for us because we've always held out hope for that kidney to work... and like Joaquin jin shin jyistu healer, Kathleen, says: "Hope is one of the hardest things to lose."

It's also a tough decision beacuse Joaquin looks like he's doing so well, granted he is on dialysis. We've always wondered what it would be like to take him off all the meds, the machines, the nasty concoctions that we put down his ng tube. What if all of that is only exacerbating the condition?

My scepticism in the medical institution and the fact that it is common practice to only treat the body, the symptoms; not the root of the problem, the mind, also plays a rather large role in all of my thinking. Because I'm a big believer in the mind/body connection. I believe that many of the dis-eases that we humans deal with can be traced back to a "root" cause - like a traumatic childhood even that was buried deep within the psyche so much so that it manifests itself as a physical condition ailing the body so that the mind must finally acknowledge it and begin dealing with it and healing. Let the healing begin...

And so I've spoken with different healers who deal with the mind/body connection and work with the different energies in the body. What I wanted to hear from them was that they could perform a miracle for us, that they could give him an herbal remedy, a homeopathic cure, anything. Instead what I pretended I didn't hear was that Joaquin's kidney problems are something that started before birth. It's not like he was born with normal kidneys and then his ureters blocked and then his kidneys were damaged... they were damamged from the beginning. Didn't have a chance really. But I believe in miracles and hope is what kept us afloat this past year...

So then I began to realize that the "westernized" medical institution is a blessing in itself. Joaquin would more than likey not be here with out it - and so I give thanks for that. But I would still like to incorporate what I've learn and what I believe in as an important element in healing the body - the mind. And I'm not going to be giving up my homoeopathic, naturopathic, essential oil, herbal concoctions - instead I'm going to pair them together with western medicine. And don't forget about the power of prayer.

It comes down to the fact that we could wait on the transplant and see if in fact his kidneys decide to work. To be honest, I don't think they will and so that is my driving force in going through with the transplant. Joaquin needs and deserves a good kidney. The fact that he's in excellent health only means that the transplant will go that much better. And I need to remain positive in this direction we take because I also happen to believe in the power of positive thinking. Joaquin will be fine. He will be. He just has to be.